Missing your ‘old life’ after a diagnosis: Here’s what you need

For years I have cried that I wanted my old life back . I longed for the time when I didn’t have any pain, had enough energy to get through the day and could do everything I wanted without taking my body into account. The pain started when I was 15 and I just wanted to go out like my peers, shop all day, do fun things, go to school without being hindered. I just wanted to be healthy. I wanted my old life back..without fibromyalgia .Show content


Missing your ‘old life’ makes sense

Your carefree life in which you didn’t have to take anything into account. Of course you long for this. The fact that you now suddenly have pain complaints every day and are limited in energy is quite a switch. Missing your old life makes sense, but so painful.

You are battling fibromyalgia , unable and unwilling to comprehend that this is now your reality. Somehow you have hope: maybe if I ignore it, it will go away on its own. Perhaps there is a doctor or therapist who can heal me.

You ignore your complaints, keep crossing your limits, refuse to ask for help and overexert yourself every day. As a result, you experience even more anger towards your body, offer even more resistance and experience even more sadness.

If only it were like back then..

Instead of taking your complaints into account, you continue as you did. Taking your new situation into account is far too confrontational and, besides, you can hardly comprehend that this is your ‘new life’.

According to the acceptance process , it is logical that you long for your ‘old life’ and deny the complaints. The blow is still too big, you are grieving and doing your best with everything you have to go back to how it was.

This is what you need now

Missing your old life can hurt a lot. What you need at this stage is time. Take space to grieve: cry, scream, be angry.. let everything be there and give everything space. But also be gentle with yourself and have faith that this is a phase that you will get through sooner or later.

It is important to allow yourself at this stage to feel everything you feel . To express your emotions , to talk about what you are going through and to be gentle with yourself.

It is also quite a blow that you have lost your ‘old life’ and that it may never be the same again. This is something that takes time, really give yourself time.

Out of your anger, let your tears flow, let it all out. This is important for the processing process. So don’t hold back.

Your new life.. will it ever get used to?

I will take you through this phase of the acceptance process and also talk about shaping your new life.

Because.. will it ever get used to leaving your ‘old life’ behind? And in the meantime you will shape your ‘new life’? Will it ever be okay? Will this really work?

Yes. You can do this and you will absolutely succeed. But it does take time. My life now is nice, pleasant and I really enjoy it. I’m not even concerned with ‘how it was’ anymore. My focus is completely on how it is now.

This is because I have learned to recognize, accept and live with fibromyalgia and everything that comes with it.

As a result, I have a little more peace in my life and the resistance has disappeared so that I have been able to shape my ‘new life’.

I can basically do whatever I want, but sometimes I have to take my complaints into account. I have learned to listen to my body without compromising on the quality of my life.

I have been able to shape my life in a way that I can truly enjoy. But where I don’t always cross my limit.

Your ‘new life’ can also be very nice. Maybe different from how it was, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be worse. And that might be hard to see now, but I hope you get to the point where you think, She was right.

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